We have had such a tough year this year, we literally lost everything. We lost our only source of income. We had to downgrade our living conditions, sell our assets etc to survive, it was an awful experience that brought so much restoration to our lives.
During this time God wanted to teach us about surrender and faith, He wanted to teach us to not underestimate the small miracles, he wanted to take us deeper in grace and in our relationship with Him. He wanted to untangle us from the unhealthy patterns and ways of thinking. We are human though, so as this began to unfold, in our desperate and panic state we try to grasp for every solution to the problem, getting impatient with God for a big miracle, even taking matters into our own hands. There are so many times i wish we had listened, but in this there was a lesson. Only people close to us knew we were going through this, our pride was evident.
We both slipped deeper and deeper into depression. We had faith in God and have already walked a long road with Him together, but as our problems got bigger and bigger we started losing faith that God would provide us a big miracle .
What we didnt realise initially is that all the small miracles were taking us deeper into having faith in Him, every tear – He captured, when we felt weak – through His word or through someone, He sent us encouragement. He made sure our daily needs were provided for, He made sure we had a roof over our heads and a warm bed to sleep in. We lost everything because it was a distraction to spending time with Him. He was with us all the way, providing and comforting.
“I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you: Do not fear, I will help you” ~ Isaiah 41:13
These are all both big and small miracles. To some it may seem small and insignificant but to us we now see them as big miracles because of how our relationship and trust in God has grown. As a married couple, instead of blaming each other for our situation, we have been able to work together, encouraging each other when one of us was feeling weak.
When i look at the moments these miracles were realised, its at the point we became grateful that even though everything felt like it was falling apart, we were surrounded by Him. Even though, we became grateful for what we still had left because we had witnessed people who had much less.
My testimony is that of alot of trauma, a broken young girl looking for love and a sense of belonging in all the wrong places. Through many small miracles in my life, I am alive to tell my story, I have found God and I have also found my Identity in Him, fulfilling what He has called me to do. I have peace, im free from all the hurt, pain, guilt and shame that held me captive. Through many small miracles, God has transformed me into a completely different person to that young girl growing up – thats a huge miracle! Dont underestimate the small miracles, its in them that big miracles are found.
Whatever it is that you are waiting on God for or going through, look for the small miracles. They are there, our fear and despair just blind us from seeing them. Through finding the small miracles, find patience in that God is working in the background.
I am grateful for the storms God has brought us through, they have equipped us for the places and people He is leading us to.
“For I know the plans I have for you”; says the Lord; “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” ~ Jeremiah 29:11